How can you let me hurt so?
How can you stand there and laugh
Smile and chat to your heart’s content
When I can feel my world shuttering inside?
How can you be so happy
When I can’t even master the strength for a fake smile?
I’m afraid to look into your eyes
To raise up my head and see you smile.
I’m afraid to ever ask
If I still exist in your world
Afraid of the answer I might get
Afraid of what I might see.
Every day I tell myself I’m gonna be just fine –
Everyday I wake up and get dressed
Push myself just to get through another day.
Every day I lie to myself
Believing it’s the only way I’m ever going to survive
And every day, I die a little more inside.
How can I be so disoriented
When you look like your world is a shining rainbow?
How can I be so afraid
When you seem like nothing can stop you?
How is it I struggle with myself in your presence
Yet you barely ever seem to blink
Like the past is nothing but that?
But you don’t know the truth
You don’t know the battle I fight
You don’t know the tears I’ve shed
You don’t know the pain I feel
You don’t know the lies I tell myself
So you stand there and be happy
You smile and laugh
Because you don’t know